The Imagination Project...

creating epic shifts in personal awareness

My Life as a Failure

By Patrick Shalosky

It’s early on a quite Sunday morning, the sun is still slumbering and so is my amazing wife.  I’m alone with only a cup of coffee beside me.  I got up early this morning because I had something to ponder.  In fact I’ve been doing a lot of pondering lately and perhaps it’s time I bring it out in the open and talk about it.  I need to get it off my chest but also, maybe my experience can help out someone else who is pondering.

The truth is… I’m a failure.  A big fat stinkin’ failure.  Not only is this true but it’s a fact that I have failed at everything I have ever tried.  By and large I work with my hands and I have acquired an untold number of bruises, cuts, burns, torn skin, and strained fingers, and wrists and all because I screwed up and received the scars to prove it.  Why, just yesterday I bruised my knuckle by hitting it with a two-pound hammer, EPIC FAIL!!!  Now at work, I fall flat on my face so many times that it’s expected.  When I order parts and materials for a project, I always include extras in case I make a mistake.  Sometimes I can spend hours or even days working on a project only to have it go straight into the dumpster.  I often say to my manager “Well you just paid me hundreds of dollars to learn a lesson”.  I can’t tell you how many times I have taken a brand-new expensive cutter out of its package and dropped it on the floor and ruined it.  I guess the trash can needs a job too.  At work I program large expensive computer-controlled metal working machines and it’s almost embarrassing how often I have crashed them into the workpiece or the table or snapped of a cutter because I forget to tell the machine to turn on the spindle.  Stupid huh?  I really need a job, so I suck it up and go back another day and try again… and again, and again.

To this point I’ve been having a little fun with my audience, but I swear to you that every word of my story is true.  I have failed thousands of times and truth is I look forward to failing thousands of time more.  In fact, when I go into work tomorrow, I hope I fail again.  As stated above I work with my hands but to be honest I work mostly with my mind.  The hands just carry out the tasks and this is where the exciting part lies.  You see, I’m a creator.  My entire life has been consumed by the desire to create something that hasn’t been created before.  My early life was tinkering with simple mechanical things, my pals and I fabricated several mini-bikes and go-carts with almost no money using old lawn mowers and engines that no one wanted.  When I was eighteen, I began woodworking and let that consume my life for twenty-five years.  In my later life I now am drawn to create in steel and aluminum and a variety of plastics.  I use various machine tools and lasers to perform these tasks.  These are all very mental tasks at their core.  The ideas and execution come firstly to the mind and the mind records the experience which often times comes as a lesson learned through failure more than success as far I as I see.

My adult working life started as a car mechanic.  I bull-shitted my way into it when I was eighteen, I knew almost nothing about cars.  My first work-order was to change a head lamp and I didn’t know how to do it.  I had to ask the head mechanic to tell me the best way to go about it.  After two and a half years I was a pretty good wrench-turner but by then I was bored and had to move on.  That lead to a career in wood which gave way to metal working and now I am a computer-controlled machinist.  You see, I switched careers not because I had to but because I wanted to.  It took me decades to learn something about myself and that is that I never enjoyed being good at something.  The joy for me is becoming good at it because that is where the fun is.  This is the stretch where all the discovery and learning happens.  Every day is something new and a new chance to learn more about myself rather than having results.  I used to build machines for an employer years ago.  One day I completed a certain new design of a machine and when it was fired up it operated perfectly; I didn’t have to change a thing.  I looked at my work-buddy and said, “That was the most worthless machine I ever built”.  I didn’t learn a single thing because I didn’t make any mistakes.

I have come across many people over the years that will state that they could never do this or do that.  They say that they don’t know a thing about cars, or they couldn’t nail two boards together or they just don’t have a green thumb.  I would like to say to these folks, “What a bunch of bullshit”.  Perhaps to be honest they should state that in truth they are afraid to try, and the root of that fear is the fear of failure.  I say if something is broken then try to fix it.  Chances are you’re not going to break it anymore but just try because you’ll learn something.  Yes, you may learn how a toaster works but even more, so you’ll learn something about yourself which is a hell of a lot more important than a ten-dollar toaster.  For god sake just try.  If you would like to learn to make knives but you’ve been afraid to, just try.  You can start by picking up a rusty piece of steel off the barn floor and cut and grind it into a shape of a knife.  It may not chop though a tree branch, but you will have learned firstly, how to shape a knife but also how not to do it.  More importantly you will have learned many things about yourself especially if you adopt the attitude that you have succeeded and not dwell on the fact that you can’t shave with it.  A seamstress will prick her finger a hundred times before she is proficient.  She is not daunted by the fear of pain, but she is driven by the desire to create.  A good carpenter will hammer his thumb many times but that doesn’t deter him.  He is pulled more strongly to create a beautiful home.  A comedian suffers through many boos until he gets laughs.  He could give up at any time, but he is driven to create something that will entertain, but more importantly he has the instinct to know his self.

I feel the reason we have been set free as an individualized soul is not necessarily to create but to know thy self through the act of creating.  Fear is false and it is something we have allowed ourselves to take on from an early age.  Now as adults it has become something we have to overcome if we are to know ourselves as creators.  It takes courage and strength to push beyond fear but we all can do it.  If the cowardly lion could learn courage the so can we.  The world needs your hidden talents to shine through so quit letting fear stop you.  Please have fun learning because you’re trying.  Be okay if your first walking stick turns into firewood.  Laugh when your first model airplane bites the dust and for crying out loud feel just fine for being a failure at first because the failures will become successes but more importantly these endeavors will help you learn to know thy self and that folks, is what it’s all about.

Thanks for reading you wonderful Creators, now get out there and fail, I know you can do it.

Patrick Shalosky - Featured Writer Bio

Patrick Shalosky is a natural born intuitive and empath who incarnated into this lifetime to bring forth ancient wisdom and knowledge.  He is also a Certified Spiritual Hypnotist trained by the world-renowned Author and Hypnotist Dick Sutphen with a focus on spiritual hypnosis taking people into their Past Lives, Soul Retrieval, Back-To-The-Cause, and Parallel Lives.